


Excuse Me, He's Mine

by highqualitySVTtrash (NeverlandsAngel)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Demons, Gen, Soul Collecting, Soul Selling, are you reading this Mel, im sorry, jeonghan is lowkey a jerk, lots of swearing, seriously thats a lot of swearing, seungcheol is too, this sucks but like ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 16:11:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11763570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverlandsAngel/pseuds/highqualitySVTtrash
Summary: Jihoon and Soonyoung show up to collect Jeonghan's soul at the same time.





	Excuse Me, He's Mine

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first work on the account! I'm not too good of a fluff writer and this isn't quite up to standard as I'd hoped (I'm sorry) but I hope you like it! Special thanks to my best friend Melmel for helping me think of the sassy lines.  
> IF MY BFF IS READING THIS, HAIIIIIIII  
> (Inspired by this prompt: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/361484307570132192/ I couldn't find the original one D:)  
> I cAn't fORmaT  
> #_____# is Wonwoo's voice  
> Also there's going to be mistakes in the formatting I'm sorry but it's late baiii  
> Also can we get 20 hits and 1 kudo? I don't expect much from this work lol sorry

Jihoon wants to bitch slap that human.

He's too tired to fight, though, so he settles for a easier approach.

"What is this," Jihoon seethes through gritted teeth, "doing here?" He doesn't even look the other demon in the eye, choosing to glare at the trembling human instead.

"Come on, I've been doing this for thousands of years. Shouldn't I be more welcomed?" The young demon, who has introduced himself as Soonyoung, complains, his teasing voice laced with boredom. He leans his lanky figure against the wall of the human house and regards Jihoon curiously, arms crossed.

Jihoon had been casually making his rounds, the average day's work, when he arrived at this man's house. The human had been terrified, like most, but accepted it with no objections, unlike most. Jihoon went around setting up his equipment, his Soul Extractors and Soul Jars, when another demon appeared in a whirl of fire and sparks. The human was completely spooked and Jihoon completely annoyed.

"'Sup, Hanhan. Ready to give me your soul?" the demon asked. 

Now the two demons are having the first soul custody battle in history.

"I got here first. His soul is mine." Jihoon snaps, this time ignoring the gaping human before him trying to form stuttering sentences and fixing an annoyed glare on the other boy.

The other demon rolls his eyes. "Tell him, Hannie. Didn't you sell your soul to me, your favourite devil?" the boy drawls, stooping down to look the pale human in the eye. Jihoon steps away in irritation. The human opens and closes his mouth, suddenly transforming into a mime. Jihoon can't blame him, though. Those slitted eyes of the young demon are intimidating, even by Hell's standards.

The human pushes himself off the floor into a sitting position. His trembling hands comb through his long, matted hair as he gathers his thoughts. Jihoon wrinkles his nose impatiently at the stench of fear wafting from the mortal's body and thanks Satan that he wasn't born human.

"Look, guys... I may or may not have sold my soul to the both of you a few years back." He admits after a while.

"What?" the two demons say simultaneously, Jihoon's voice flat and unimpressed while the Soonyoung's voice is loud and incredulous.  
"Yeah," the mortal says and winces. "I sold mine to you when I was, what, fifteen?" he explains and gestures to Soonyoung. Those narrow eyes light up in triumph, and Jihoon mentally adds him to his list of people and demons to be bitch-slapped.

"Then, I needed some more help a few years back. I tried selling my soul again, just trying it out, and it actually worked. I guess I sold my soul to you." The long haired human nods to Jihoon. "I didn't know the loophole existed, and I never expected you two to come at exactly the same time."

Jihoon clenches his fists. He is absolutely sick of this. _Don't punch your clients, don't punch your clients, don't punch your clients... ___

__"He sold it to me first. He's mine," the boy says instantly, grey eyes challenging Jihoon to say otherwise. Jihoon has never seen eyes quite like that, even among the variety of shapes and forms demons take. They are narrow, intelligent and unnerving, and slant up his face. It contrasts sharply against a playful, bright glint in his eyes._ _

__On closer inspection, just about everything stands out about this demon. Puffy cheeks and slim eyes, hair dyed a wild shade of pink, dressed in sweatpants and a over sized sweater... he definitely doesn't look like the average demon._ _

__Jihoon refocuses and stares into those tiger like eyes. He has a reputation for being daunting, too. This kid doesn't scare him in the least._ _

__"Excuse me? He sold it to me too. This is my soul. So if you could kindly get the fuck out, that'd be great." Jihoon snaps._ _

__"I got here first!" the other protests._ _

__"Please, you suddenly poofed up out of nowhere with all your fairy dust and shit when I was having a good talk with my client."_ _

__"What? I am a millennial old fire demon. What are you, demon of strawberry shortcakes?"_ _

__"Move aside then, oldie. Let the younger professional handle this."_ _

__"Look here you disrespectful little piece of shit I could-"_ _

__"Look where? All I see is a pile of shit blocking my view."_ _

__"- blast your tiny butt all the way to heaven!"_ _

__"I'd really like to see you try." Jihoon crosses his arms and steps closer to Soonyoung, eyes hard._ _

__The other boy's hands are starting to smoke, and Jihoon can feel the room's temperature plunge. Jihoon recognizes Soonyoung's power as the power of controlling fire, making Jihoon rather confident about his chances of winning against the boy. His power of summoning ice is quite powerful, if he does say so himself._ _

__The two demons stare at each other, neither willing to budge. The area is filled with a tense air despite the relaxed contempt the demons have for each other. Their stand-off is interrupted when they hear the sound of rusted metal clanging against stone._ _

__The boy curses in an ancient language as Jihoon turns around. "He's getting away, dammit!"_ _

__The human is rushing out of the house, not even bothering to put on his shoes. When Jihoon blinks, he's gone, escaped in a flash._ _

__"That sneaky-" he doesn't finish his sentence and shoots after the human. He didn't even bother to remember the guy's name; his clients never mattered much anyways._ _

__Jihoon dashes out of the cramped apartment, but the human is gone._ _

__"You'd think they'd give us some runes or something to track our clients!" huffs the pink haired demon as he joins Jihoon in the corridor of the apartment building._ _

__The apartment is on the second floor and has a balcony leading out to fresh air. Jihoon rushes to the edge to peer down the balcony and he scans the crowd of mortals, surveying the crowd carefully. The mortal's faces blend together in a swirl of mudanity, but he notices a chestnut ponytail peeking out of a grey cap. The smell of fear clouds the mortal and makes him stand out. like wearing garishly bright cloak._ _

__Without a word to the other demon, he leaps over the balcony railing and lands on the fanciful walkway with a thud. It earns some weird glances, but he doesn't stop and chases his client. This isn't the first time a client tried to make a break for it, but Jihoon's in good shape._ _

__The mortal breaks into a sprint even without looking back. Human and demon vanish into the crowded streets of Seoul, slipping among tourists and residents, playing hide and seek in the sprawling maze of skyscrapers and apartments. He follows the panicked human through the thick, lazy flow of people, eyes trained on the grey cap and brown ponytail._ _

__The mortal runs blindly across the street, ponytail flying loose in the wind. Jihoon is not far behind, just narrowly dashing in front and past a screeching Rolls Royce. He doesn't spare a driver a single glance. Behind him, he hears a cacophony of car horns and vehicles forced to a jerking halt. Jihoon grimaces and continues the pursuit._ _

__He's closing the gap when suddenly the human vanishes into a side alley, barely visible to the careless eye. Jihoon can't stop himself in time - why aren't demons given better motor controls? - and has to freeze his feet into the stone pavement to ground himself and stop himself from falling._ _

__The bat comes from behind. With a loud crack, Jihoon is thrown to his knees. The bat hit him squarely in the back. He doesn't feel a thing, but his body is formed like a human and just can't recover fast enough. His sweaty palms and trembling knees can't prop himself up just yet. Through the haze of confusion, he is aware of the human kicking him in the ribs and he is introduced to the cold pavement once again. He should feel embarrassed - him, a hardened ice demon hundreds of years old, beaten to his knees by a mere human - but all he feels is exhaustion and exasperation. He's just doing this job for the paycheck, and buying souls for centuries gets tiring. Especially when mortals try to escape from the contract. Why can't humans make his job easier?_ _

__Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the human duck, and registers a cloud of flame. This fire isn't orange, no, but a colder, harder shade of blue. The flames are like blue clouds, graceful and slipping through the frosty winter air like dolphins playing in the sea. It sears the human's clothes but he keeps running. Jihoon pushes himself onto his feet and chases the mortal, and is aware of the pink haired demon doing the same._ _

__"You cut him off," says the narrow eyed boy without even panting. With a single blast of smoke, he's propelled upwards._ _

__Jihoon chokes from the smoke and can barely see as he pushes forward. "Inconsiderate bastard", he grumbles. He makes out the human hunching his back and coughing, but still pressing on._ _

__They are close to the main street. Jihoon flicks out his wrist and with a dry, scratching sound, a wall of ice stretches out and cuts the human off. The mortal slams into the wall and stumbles back very ungracefully onto his butt. Jihoon smirks. Karma, bitch._ _

__The human, his handsome face smashed up and his nose smeared with blood bright like paint, gets up and tries to run the opposite way. Another burst of fire cuts him off again and the human slumps to the ground, defeated._ _

__"Hey, we actually make a really good team!" Soonyoung smiles from the roof where he's standing._ _

__"Fine, you win. Get it over with," the human moans and rolls on the ground, cradling his fractured face. Jihoon whips out his equipment, eyes daring Soonyoung to claim the soul again. Soonyoung simply leaps down from the roof he was perched on and studies the human curiously. "You're one strange human," he comments._ _

__"Um... thanks?" the human says, his speech warbled through the pain._ _

__"Hold still," Jihoon orders as he positions the Extractor above the human's heart. The Soul Extractor is a quirky little thing, with little intricate patterns of cogs and levers held together by a gold wire mesh. It resembles a golden bird's cage, and Jihoon has no idea where the myth of Death's Scythe came from. He has met Death on several occasions, and the man definitely uses different methods of collecting his souls._ _

__With a flick of a lever, the cogs in the Extractor whir, and the grind and soft screeching of the metal workings in the machine fill the quiet alley. Jihoon questions why no one has noticed them yet with all the noise and havoc they had caused, but chalks that up to a problem to deal with later. The mortal sighs, his last breath, as his soul seeps towards the Extractor. His soul is the colour of misty grey; his client more or less did good things in his life. After a few seconds, every wisp of soul leaves the mortal's body and is collected in a peaceful little whirlwind of grey smoke above the Extractor. The human's body dissolves into nothing. Not the ordinary way of going out, but with the new arrangement and policies Death was making, it didn't really matter. According to everyone, this man never existed._ _

__Jihoon reaches for one of his Jars, but Soonyoung darts his hand out and bottles the soul expertly with a Jar of his own._ _

__Jihoon is absolutely livid. He spins and faces the boy, who has the cheek to peer down at Jihoon with an innocent smile._ _

__"Look here, I swear I will burn your little butt-"_ _

__#Just split the damn soul!# Jihoon hears the echo of the voice of his boss, Wonwoo. Two stacks of money suddenly appear in both of their hands._ _

__"Guess you work for Woo too, huh?" Soonyoung notes. He grabs Jihoon's Jar from the gaping boy and empties half the soul into his. "That makes us friends, right?"_ _

__"We are not friends, Mr. Soonyoung," says Jihoon and quickly pockets his share of the soul. He's cut off by the spirit of their employer again._ _

__#Listen, I've got this soul that's been on the loose for a while now. You two did good with the assignment. You work together well enough. Get that soul now, I'll pass more information via raven.#_ _

__"Wait, what? Why are you making this sound like an exam?" Soonyoung yells._ _

__#Please, it was. Loopholes like that never existed. I need top notch employees to get this soul, and you two were perfect. Just needed to test your teamwork. Now get searching, the raven is coming.# With that, the spirit of his Wonwoo vanishes. Almost instantly, a pitch black raven, all gleaming coal feathers and pea sized eyes, swoops in and lands on Soonyoung's shoulder. Both demons jump a little. The raven drops a little scroll and soars away instantly._ _

__Soonyoung unwraps the scroll._ _

___Choi Seungcheol, 21 _  
_Last seen in Hongdae, Seoul____ _

______There's also a picture of a handsome man, with a bright smile and dimples. Big eyes, pale skin, puffy lips, he can easily pass off as a vampire._ _ _ _ _ _

______Soonyoung pockets the scroll and dusts his hands off. "Let's get going, shall we, partner?" He wiggles his eyebrows._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jihoon groans. This is going to be a long week._ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
